Extreme Kindness

Extreme Kindness

the 9th habit

How can we create a discipline for kindness in our life? No, I don’t mean a random act of spanking, I am interested in exploring how kindness can be a habit, an addiction that we just can’t quit. I believe like any other action we take, it must start with the intention or desire to do so. We must feel the need to get our fix of the helper’s high. We must believe there is a need to create more kindness in our lives and in the lives of others. Once we have realized this we can then start the planning. Just like building a house, we need to create a blueprint for ourselves of how we want to change our life. We can first look at where kindness is lacking in our lives. Is it with a person we are frustrated with, strangers in our community, or maybe it is our perceptions of other cultures? As we break ground we can begin to loosen the thoughts that are preventing us from setting an unstable foundation. Thought by thought we can build a healthier way of seeing the world: a world filled with positive people and opportunities to make someone’s day, and in turn improve our own.

Once our new mental frame is complete, we can head outside and plant new expressions of compassion. Each day we can commit ourselves to one new act of kindness. We can write this commitment down, tell a friend our veritable pusher of goodwill to remind ourselves of our new habit!

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37 Responses to “the 9th habit”

  1. micqualyn Says:
    September 27th, 2006 at 5:26 pm

    Discipline of Kindness – I like it.
    I have a grumpy/sadness strategy – It goes like this: when I’m feeling grumpy or sad I encourage 3 people and by the time I’ve sent an email, card or phone message I’m usually not grumpy or sad anymore.

    You are right about developing a healthier view of life, sometimes we can get so unsettled by the news or things we see other people doing that we let it have a negative impact on our thoughts.
    I find focusing on a virtue each day and heading out into my day with the intention to brighten someone else’s day really makes my day good. It’s like what I intend happens in my life.

    Often the best way to “push” others into kindness is being kind first or setting the example.

    One thing I’m finding in my life is that I have to be willing to let others be kind to me (often by lending a helping hand) and I encourage all those kindness souls to allow others to be kind to you too. Giving is good, very good – receiving is good too.

  2. Jo Dawson Says:
    November 7th, 2006 at 2:42 pm

    I am so happy to come across this site and your GOOD works. Acts of kindness are incredible moments of our lives. There is nothing more satisfying or rewarding than when you extend yourself unselfishly and unconditionally to another. Its instantaneous for both you and the other person. It’s mututally gratifying and if practiced often can literally shift the consciousness of your life and enrich your life experience. Sometimes its as brief as a smile. Volunteering is a Discipline for Kindness. Its a commitment to give of yourself and when done with this type of intention is an awesome experience.

    I invite anyone interested in commiting acts of kindness with the elderly to contact me at the Hugs for Health Foundation and Help Make A Difference One Hug At A Time!

    Hugs to You-
    Jo D

  3. Lisa-Holly Says:
    December 26th, 2006 at 7:20 pm

    I came across this site at a very interesting(for lack of a better word)in my life. I too believe in everything you believe in. I tend to go on, all I’m going to say right now is Thank You & just keep believing! Happy New Year! May 2007 bring only good things! Lisa-Holly

  4. Donna Says:
    February 15th, 2007 at 4:17 pm

    How do you get out of a rut when the community that you live in is surrounded by nasty, unkind ppl? I live in a retirement area in S. FL and the ‘retirees’ are not very nice at all…at the grocery store, gas station lines, bank, restaurants, you name it. So, I am surrounded by not nice people and as a result, I have become sort of like them. I never say ‘hi’ or go out of my way to help them…as I don’t get it from them. When I DO say ‘hi’ or open the door, I get NO response back. Not even a ‘thank you’. Any advice for me?

    I DO want to be a kinder person! I am one innately, it’s just buried inside due to my enviroment!


  5. Cathy Says:
    February 21st, 2007 at 4:50 am

    Hello Donna, I just came across your entry while I was doing a little research. I am a high school counselor and I was writing an article on kindness. It seems to be a dying character trait. But wanted to comment on your entry. Being pretty old myself and working with my aging parents; I can tell you that many of the people who retire in Florida do not have Strong family ties. They are sort of their own breed. They didn’t have strong ties to their community, church, or family. They are usually lonely people and spend their life in small retired communities of like individuals. I don’t know if you are a praying person; but this group of people probably need your kindness more then ever. Most likely it started in childhood and they just never had the opportunity to learn there was a better life. They were probably busy saving their money for a great retirement instead of spending that extrat time in community, church and family activiites.

  6. Jett Says:
    March 23rd, 2007 at 10:03 am

    I think if you find somebody who reacts to you in an unkind way or who is just rude, the best thing to do is smile at them (be genuine) or if it’s someone you know reach for their hand. This may help soften them a little and see that not everybody’s reaction to them is one of unkindness. Surprise them and throw them off balance a little by just being nice. (some people just need a BIG push!) :~}
    best to you,
    stacy Jett

  7. Andrea Says:
    April 17th, 2007 at 7:40 pm

    Smiles Don’t Clash.

    Wake up and smile,
    smile before you answer the phone you will hear it in your voice.
    Smile before you fall asleep at night
    Be happy for what you have ..and always see the glass as being half full

    Test this theory, when you are walking make eye contact with a person who is not smiling, give them a warm smile….I bet they will smile right back at yeah..

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