Extreme Kindness

Extreme Kindness

Kindness in Comox Valley

Well I am having an amazzzzzzzzzzing time connecting with all the great schools here in the Comox Valley.  The week schedule is below and a special thanks to

Crown Isle http://www.crownisle.com

Mountain West Properties http://www.mountainwestproperties.ca/

and Kyle Timms for getting me here!  Looking forward to today!

9:00 – Aspen Park

10:30 – Puntledge Park

1:00 – Robb Road

Tuesday, Nov 16

9:00 – Courtenay

10:30 – Royston

1:00 – Denman

Wednesday, Nov 17

9:00 – Queneesh

10:30 – Airport

1:00 – Miracle Beach

Thursday, Nov 18

9:00 – Valley View

10:30 – Lake Trail


Kindness Attacks New York City


Just click on the link above for a New York Extreme Kindness Adventure!


brewing some good



Connected Business Leaders

A few years ago, led by Ros Taylor Ltd, a leading firm of Chartered Psychologists, drew on responses from 1500 people from organizations of varying sizes throughout the UK about leadership in the workplace.

Key findings included:

  • 77 per cent of respondents said their boss was not interested in them
  • 90 per cent said their boss did nothing about poor performers
  • 79 per cent claimed their boss did not set clear objectives
  • 89 per cent said their boss lacked innovation and was unreceptive to new ideas

Ros Taylor, managing director of RTL commented:

“That’s only 15 per cent of people we asked who thought their boss was any good and 8 per cent who thought they were inspirational.” He went on to point out that while companies will try to get every last drop of value out of their cost base and spend millions on new technology and efficiencies, true leadership is being forgotten.


A business leader will often be over a 200 USD per annum investment on the company’s part. An investment that will have a direct effect on the human capital of the business, meaning the employees and ‘talent’ of the workforce.


In his book THE TIPPING POINT, Malcolm Gladwell, page 272, describes how the first fax machine was useless even though millions were spent on making it. Why? Because it was not connected to any other fax machines. With each new fax machine and new connection the network grew and so to did the true value of the technology. Businesses are not so much paying for the leader but the network that he creates and maintains. A NETWORK OF CONNECTION.

3 Steps to take for a Business Leader to Get CONNECTED:

  1. Lead don’t Manage: Be available to help, inspire and be passionate but don’t micromanage. Think of a coach for a pro soccer team. He will give vision, strategy and advice but he is not going to tell his players how to run, breath and eat during the game.
  2. Write down your Character Strengths
    1. _______________
    2. _______________

A Leaders Character will be the lifeline of his troops. Without character a persona cannot hope to lead. Get to know yourself and define who you are. Connect with your true self and be honest about where you might have to develop your personal character.

  1. Vision: Write it down, draw a picture, touch it and practice different ways of communicating it every day. As it changes and grows you should be the first to know.
    1. VISION in 10 words________________________________
    2. VISION in 3 Words_________________________________
    3. Draw your vision in 55 seconds below:


Kindness in Scotland

While I was born in Calgary Alberta, Canada, my first memories are of the Isle of Skye in Scotland. For most of my youth and adult life, it has been a consistent dream to return there and discover what I can of the place where the sea and sky meet. Last week I finally stood in the highlands of Skye once more, remembering the small town of Sconcer where I lived and also of getting lost, much to my mothers despair, in the Cullin Hills (think of a smaller but no less formidable set of North America’s Rocky Mtns).


On the third day of our stay, my girlfriend and I discovered a wonderful bakery, proclaimed to be the oldest on the island. The couple who owned the bakery kept us entertained with stories and Scottish pies, while a neighborhood cat share a table with us. Upon leaving, two free brownies were placed into our hands with cheerful farewells. More then the beautiful landscape and the amazing stone castles, this act of kindness made me feel as if I had truly come home. 30 minutes later, however, we discovered that I had left my passport and wallet at the bakery by mistake. I immediately turned the car around and drove quickly North back to the end of the island. When I entered the bakery for the 2nd time I was greeted with happy cries and hugs. They had phoned the police they were so worried that I might not return for my passport. Their genuine caring and friendly hearts were the best part of our Scottish trip.

So the next time you meet a traveler from a distant land, make sure to greet him or her with a smile and if possible a small act of kindness. You might just be bringing them home.



The Greatness Guide

In this fantastic sequel to the international bestseller The Greatness Guide, Robin Sharma shares insights and tools on leadership and personal success. The reader will receive uncommon advice including Be So Good They Can’t Ignore You, Ask to Get, Fail Faster, Be a Cool Brand and Live an Intense Life.

101 simple yet powerful lessons that will help you work effectively and live with passion.


One of my favorite quotes from the book is found on page 119,

“Find ways to connect. With the people you work with. With the loved ones you live with. And with the strangers with whom you share this journey called life.”

I strongly recommend this book and reading a page a day. Focus on incorporating one Greatness Guide step into your day. IT WORKS! Thats my B-rad Activity for this week, HAVE FUN!


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Your Top Ten

Write down your top 10!

Leading psychologists and experts often state the importance of having strong healthy relationships to experience a healthy and happy lifestyle. More then wealth, success or circumstance, happiness and health will be largely a result of the people we choose to spend time with.

The rankings of which people primed happiness: page 312, Social Intelligence, Daniel Goleman.


(In order of importance)
Spouse or partner
Clients or customers
Being alone

A B-rad Exercise / Tool for being Happy:

Write Down The Top Ten People You Connect With. Briefly describe how they help you connect to Health and Happiness.

Your goal with this tool is to optimize your time spent with these people and focus on constantly nourishing these relationships. You should write, talk or see each of your top 5 at least once a week.












The Power of Optimism

When they are depressed, many people withdraw, pull the shades, twist into a cocoon, and stop seeing their friends. This is the worst possible thing to do. - Alan loy McGinnis The Power of Optimism


I absolutely loved finding this book hidden away in the public library downtown Victoria BC.

I have personally noticed that many people, friends, family and co-workers, have withdrawn or tried to isolate themselves, when emotionally or physically injured.

When I was younger and got hurt I would try to isolate myself and instead of healing I would instead nurse my pain, hurt, fear or anger. Luckily for me I quickly discovered that spending time with my friends was the cure all for any injury.

But the only reason I was able to access this was because my friends would not take no for an answer. When I walked with a cane for almost two years Chris and Erik would force me to go on hikes with them, where they would even take turns carrying me over the rough terrain. When my mother died, my friends were all in the room with me and a few weeks later forced me onto a plane headed to Mexico and surfing adventures.

These solid friendships allowed me to feel constantly connected to love and life’s laughter. You can always find a way to heal if you are laughing and feeling connected to the world and people around you. SO if you have a friend who is trying to hide away, go drag them out into the sun!


Connection Exercise:

Jump up and down and try to be angry or sad. It is hard to do. Think about when you tell a tearful child to smile and they instantly stop crying. You have the ability to take control of your level of optimism. Just jump.


The Encroacher – Even CEO’s Need Help

It is easy to forget when you are working for someone, that they too are merely human and need help from you to connect effectively each day.


This article defines 4 typical areas where a CEO / Leader in business might struggle. Today I would like to look at one in particular.


“The CEO of a large communications company was working 70 hours a week, and as a result he was tired, tense and short-tempered. By the CEO’s own definition of leadership-”the ability to inspire others to work toward objectives which they have come to accept as their own”-this individual was clearly failing. He was a living example of, “How can I hope to inspire others when I feel burnt out and uninspired myself?” ”

The main problem stemmed from his/her need to micro manage.

It was found that the CEO was “encroaching on areas of the business that were clearly the functional responsibility of his direct reports, causing duplication, resentment and animosity.”

Through coached meetings the CEO and the people working for him directly were able to realign their responsibilities. From the top down the CEO and the entire organization learned the value of being kind to one self and ones co-workers and the effect it would have on each persons ability to connect with their colleagues and leaders.

In any relationship you have to have TRUST in order to connect. You have to realize that people will sometimes move towards a common goal in their own manner. Learn to step back and support for certain periods of time. Set milestones and benchmarks but give the people above and beside you the chance to get there on their own terms if possible.


Authentic Leadership

I thought I would take a quick look at leadership today and what it means. A great paper to read on the subject is:

What’s your story? A life-stories approach to authentic leadership development
Boas Shamira, T, Galit Eilamb, 1
Department of Sociology and Anthropology, The Hebrew University, Jerusalem, 91905, Israel
School of Business Administration, Ono Academic College, 104 Zahal Street, Kiryat Ono, Israel


In this paper, the subject of authentic leadership is discussed in detail. The authors describe leaders as having “achieved a high level of self-resolution ( Turner, 1976) or self-concept clarity, which
refers to the extent to which one’s self-beliefs are clearly and confidently defined and internally

Who has had a leader in business, school or sports where the person/captain/boss/teacher was inconsistent in their values? I found it personally impossible to remain inspired by such people. While they might have been impressive from the get go, it soon becomes apparent that unauthentic leaders lack substance and are one day shows. They may say and appear to do all the right things from an initial meeting but over time the people being led start to lose faith in the strength of their leaders values.

A leader must know who he or she is without room for constant doubt. They must be able to connect with themselves first and foremost on a daily level. This will enable them to connect with the people they lead.

“As people become more certain of their self-conceptions, they are more inclined to rely on these conceptions to organize their experiences, predict future events, and guide behavior (Swann, 1990). For these reasons, stable and coherent self-concepts provide authentic leaders with a critically important source of coherence, and a framework for defining their existence, organizing experience, predicting future
events, and guiding social interactions (Swann & Schroeder, 1995; Swann, Rentfrow, & Quinn,


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